Motherhood + Self-Care = “Just Add Water”

Let's Talk about Self-Care: Shifting the Way We View Motherhood

We have almost all heard the phrase by now, “self-care is not selfish.” But what if I told you that that isn’t even relevant? What if the way you have been thinking and approaching self-care is entirely wrong? Yes, it’s true that self-care is not selfish, but also self-care first starts with changing our way of thinking.

Self-care is less about spa days and being pampered, although that is nice, and more about thinking and caring enough for ourselves to set the parameters to manage our daily load. Self-care is about creating a support system so that when you are feeling overloaded, you have a safe place to turn and share your burdens. It’s about doing small, nearly insignificant things, throughout our day to check-in and recharge.

As a mom we often put our own needs on the back burner. However, as the heart and soul of your family, your mental health and happiness are paramount. First and foremost, let’s establish this undeniable truth: You deserve self-care. Your role as a mother is selfless, and it’s easy to forget that you, too, need care and nourishment. It’s not selfish; it’s self-love.

Okay, bear with me as I use an all-too common analogy to further drive in my point. I am sure you have heard the oxygen mask metaphor before, and if you have ever flown you’ve heard the airplane safety announcement about putting on your oxygen mask before helping others. The same principle applies here. To be the best mom, wife, and friend, you have to ensure your well-being. Now I wan’t to diverge from this analogy for a minute and say obviously as a mom it is perfectly alright to put your child’s needs before your own, but don’t forget yours all together and think you will be alright.

When we don’t take the time to care for ourselves it WILL come with a cost. Something will be affected by your decision to neglect yourself. I am saying this from experience. For me I lost a grip on my mental health, and began to spiral into a deep pit of depression and intrusive thoughts. What I learned from this experience was this… and please don’t take this lightly, if I could grab you by the shoulders and shake this into you for emphasis I would. Your mental health is essential for your family’s well-being.

So at this point you get it, I’ve gone over it enough for you to understand how important self-care is for a mom, but you’re thinking that there is just simply no possible way you can make time for it. I’ve been there but again I had my expectations of what self-care is wrong. I approach it like this self-care is a “need” not a “want.” I need to take care of myself vs. I want to do something (aka spa day) for myself. See the difference?

Let me break it down even simpler for you. You need water to survive. Our bodies can’t live without it. It is a need. Now I want coffee every morning to help me start my day. Do I need it to get a start to my day? My husband might say that’s debatable, but the answer is no. So self-care is like water. Just like water is essential to our physical survival, self-care is essential to our mental, emotional, and spiritual survival. “Just add water.”

How are you going to make that happen? You’re going to make sure you’re doing quality over quantity. Self-care doesn’t require hours of uninterrupted alone time. Even small moments, like enjoying a cup of tea in peace or a short walk in nature, can work wonders. Consistency matters as well. Self-care isn’t a one-time thing; it’s an ongoing commitment to yourself. Make it a routine, just like any other aspect of your life. Don’t hesitate to lean on your support system. Whether it’s your partner, friends, or family, they can provide much-needed relief and support. Remember also to set boundaries. As a mom, you may find it challenging to say “no” or set boundaries. But doing so is vital for your mental health.

Dear mothers of young children, your love and dedication are boundless, but remember that you are not invincible. Self-care is your lifeline, your way to recharge and rediscover your inner strength. It’s a journey of self-love and self-preservation that will ultimately make you an even more incredible mom. So, let’s talk about self-care, embrace it, and create a life where your mental health and happiness shine as brightly as the love you have for your family. You are worth it.

Okay so I wanted to now share a list I made a while back. Below you are going to find quick simple yet effective things you can do through out your day to focus on yourself with little to no time away from your family. In fact many of these things I do along side my kids and yet it’s still something for me.

Wash your face: a splash of cool water and a clean face is a simple way to reset and feel refreshed. It’s a great way to put a start or end to your day.
Read for 5 minutes: set a timer if you need to. Find a book, poem, short story, or scripture to focus on. Reading can help take your mind to a different place.
Have a Drink of water: Simple hydration can go a long way. It has been scientifically proven to affect energy levels and brain function.
Eat a Light Snack: nothing worse than an empty stomach. Food is the fuel that keeps us going and can have an immediate impact on our mood.
Get Out in Nature:if possible get some sunshine and walk outdoors, but even a small walk to the mailbox will do wonders.Take a walk in the park, garden, or just sit outside and soak up some Vitamin D.
Journal, Doodle, Color or Draw: putting pen to paper is the goal, express yourself and allow your creativity to flow. Write down your thoughts, gratitude, or goals. It’s a great way to clear your mind.

Finally I want to finish with this. If you haven’t already follow this link to sign up for my Self-Care Checklist. I developed this as a way to help you make sure you are caring for your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and relational self. This can be used to check over and check-in with yourself to see if your needs are being met and how to identify areas that might need addressing. Click here to sign up to get a copy sent direct to your email.